More of the Same; Reproduction Junction

have i mentioned that i'm working in obstetrics and gynecology now?

so i'm helping to deliver babies and taking out female cancers. it's pretty awesome. and what i've always wanted to do. it's a big change from what i was doing, so there's a large learning curve and some adjusting, but it's pretty great. and, being around pregnant people and new critters all the time is,  consequently, making me want to hatch another one.

and, at first blush, i feel like pulling my goalie and making a new one RIGHT NOW...but then i spend another half day in the department and see scary, sad things happen and i get really afraid to try again.

i mean, my miscarriages were hard. but they were really early. not all of them are. and i can't even wrap my brain around the pain of having a full, real baby in there who you've kind of gotten to know-have maybe even gotten henry excited about- and then losing it. and it would involve surgery then, not just some bleeding....

argh. and that's if we got pregnant on our own in the first place! there's always the likelihood that we'll have to struggle to get there. and las drogas that i took last time to make it happen aren't without their side-effects or without the very real possibility of multiples....

yipes. so i'll just sit on this for a while.

meanstwhile, i wll fawn over the screaming slimy red newborns i'm taking out of people and wish them all the best. and i'll attempt to bring comfort to those women i see who are going through losses.

i feel really fortunate to be able to see people in those critical moments of their lives. and i hope i'm making their experiences somewhat better. but for me personally, it's a blessing and a curse to see and know as much as i do. no blissful ignorance here.

hmmm.....

faith you say? good point. we'll work on that. :)