I'VE HEARD IT BOTH WAYS

let me tell you about my wonderful kid.

he pulls his step stool all the way from the bathroom into the bedroom so he can put it up against the changing table to get up to anna's height to calm her down when she's fussily getting her diaper changed in the morning.

he has started to say "i love you, too" most of the time when we love on him, even if while wiping away our kisses.

tonight when we were talking about stranger danger, he remembered a time 2 months ago when he was shy around my friends and he wants to explore the differences between strangers he's meeting who he's introduced to and strangers who are just dangers.

nuanced thoughts and dissections and associations and it's AMAZING! i love watching him grow that brain garden. it's incredible to see.

he's also kind of a smarmy little shit. as he's supposed to be right now.

he corrects us regularly. he's teaching us spanish now that he's learning some in preschool. he is 100% correcto 100% of the tiempo.

MIGO MEANS FRIEND. HOLA MEANS HELLO. JUICY MEANS BYE-BYE.

"juicy means bye-bye? what did you say? are you sure that's the word they use? because i've never heard any spanish word that sounds like that and i'm pretty sure 'adios' means bye-bye..."

NO. JUICY. JUICY MEANS BYEBYE. IT'S SPANISH.

umm....bien?

also, when he asked me the other day what an x-ray was, i launched into my limited understanding of the science of it and how it's used to look at bones and air and fluid (juicy fluid?) inside people, etc and he said, NO. AN XRAY IS A CREATURE.

i started to argue and then just...stopped.

this kid. he's cool. funny, smart, goofy, and just so much love. we got a really good one landed on us and i'm so thankful.

Baby Munchkin Pants is 9 Months Old!

dear readers, and probably my future adult-age children who are curious about what life was like for them when they were small, i have to admit something to you....

i just fell in love with my anna last night. 

and i feel like this is a horrible confession because she's 9 FREAKING MONTHS OLD and has been delightful all along and i am the worst that i wasn't smitten sooner. 

and don't get me wrong. i've enjoyed her, i've loved and cared for her, i've been able to admire her qualities and help usher her along the newborn path. 

but just now, last night, i feel like i really met her. 

i mean, babies are like raw stone that needs to be carved, with time, into a sculpture/the person they're going to be, right? and it's hard for me when they're tiny and have only soft edges and no defining angles to really fully attach. 

i remember that it took a while with henry, too. people describe being immediately in love when the baby emerges, or even forming an intense connection in utero. 

i don't get that. i love and give and provide for, but i don't get, like, goofy for kids until they are their own little people. 

so, anyway. anna is starting to become her own little person. and she's really cool. she laughs constantly, and makes really deep eye contact. she tries to catch my eye to share a smile. she's silly and makes patterns of noise that she shares with me and laughs when i finally join in. she's not afraid of anything. she is strong and forceful and pretty good at brushing herself off when she inevitably stumbles. 

these are all qualities i like in a person. i like her a lot. 

having a few hours alone with her last night while robb and henry rode their bikes on maybe the last nice night of the fall through our city gave us a chance to just be together. quietly and completely, i let the dirty dishes sit and i wasn't being asked 'star wars' trivia questions by her brother. it was just us. and it was swell. (PS- the guys had a crazy awesome time on the bikes, too)

so, adult anna, when you come back to read about your childhood on your hologram maker and laugh how quaint your mom was "blogging" instead of cyber journaling or whatever, you might be mad that it took me a while to really get you. you might also be mad that i'm making your milestones about me. but, you know, that's life, kid. 

oh! and speaking of milestones- you're pulling yourself up on everything, your'e scooting along things, you're eating lots of solid food, and you're wearing 24 month clothes. we'll find out soon at your doctor's visit just how moose-ish you are, but i suspect it's a lot. a lot moose. 

(added late: 21lbs 11oz weight, 29" tall, 17" head...92/91/29%)

and in case it's not abundantly clear by the pics- you're spectacularly beautiful. your eyes are smart and quick and your hair is fluffy and you are a perfect miracle and i love you. 

-mom ('that lady i focus so much time on in therapy')

I Think This is Where the Magic Happens? I Really Can't Remember.

you know how kids are pretty much a science experiment for grownups, right?

so the experiment tonight is putting both kids in the same room to sleep. like a nursery. like in peter pan, where all the the kids, no matter the ages or sexes, bunk together. with a dog taking care of them, bringing them their nightly medicine (stool softener probably? sedative?) and picking up toys and whatever. anyway. i digress. i really want a nanny dog. or nanny robot.  

...

ANYway, we'll see how it goes. so far one has woken up the other only one time. but it 's not even 9pm. so we'll see.

the goal is to get our bedroom back after 8 months of sharing it. it's time. i'm gleefully writing this lying in bed with all the lights on in my room. because i can. because I'M THE BOSS. (did you hear that? are they waking? shhhh! turn off the lights! hit the ground!)