Half-a-Hippie

so i'm always getting accused of being a hippie because of our weird food restrictions and such.

and i say we kinda are and we kinda aren't. we pay a lot of taxes and don't do drogas and we believe in vaccinating and circumcising and all that stuff, so we can't be real hard-core hippies. but we do also vote for ron paul and eat a mostly vegan diet (we do eat eggs and i eat a little fish), use cloth diapers and glass bottles, recycle, etc, etc...so we are a little bit hippie. 

but really, i think it's mostly the diet that has people associating us with hugging trees, granola, and patchouli. i know the daycare ladies think we're nuts with the stuff we send to school for henry. they probably feel bad trying to convince him that my rutabaga spinach concoctions are worth trying.

i make every effort to laugh off our goofy choices and not take ourselves too seriously. but apparently i'm failing at this because the other day when they put his very dirty diaper in a plastic bag to mask the heinous stench, they were concerned that i would be concerned about the use of a plastic bag. ay yay yay. i want to say, "no, we're not that green! were some of the normal ones! it's totally cool to use plastic bags! just don't give my kid an egg that didn't come from a free-range hen fed a diet of hemp and chia seeds who gets acupuncture thrice a week. no big deal!"

anywho.

we're pretty food-conscious. we eat an extremely balanced diet heavy in fruits and vegetables (especially green leaffies) but also seeds, nuts, high protein grains, and coconut milk. we eat as much organic as we can- especially following "the dirty dozen/clean fifteen" rule. (i have lots of info on infant nutrition if anyone's interested- just lemme know).

so in order to get henry all the iron and protein and other nutrients that he needs, we need him to eat colorful foods that lots of kids think are buck nasty. he does pretty well with it, but between being ill lately and suddenly developing a passionate aversion to using a spoon, it's been a challenge getting him to eat.

so super long story even longer- i tried this recipe and it worked awesome!! henry could pick up and eat chunks of it with his fingers. and he seems to like flavor. every time i make something w/ spices in it, he prefers it to just plain 'ol whatever.

Sweet Potato Black Bean Quiona Patties

-i didn't have any corn and i wanted to sneak in some spinach, so i used that instead
-because i was making it for monkey, i halved the chili powder and cayenne
-i did not use sunflower seeds cuz i didn't want him choking on anything too small to grind with 7 teeth
-i fried them (yum) in canola oil and then baked them at 250 for a while to get them a little drier/tougher

....then when robb and i had them, i added this jamaican jerk sauce that was AWESOME
-jalepenos subbed for the peppers they asked for.

delicious! and nutricious. high five to self.

see? he likes it! he really likes it!

just the right amount of spice for baby monsters

finished product for the grown-ups- with jerk sauce

Eventually This Child Will Have One Helluva Immune System

and...sinus infection. no ears and no lungs involved (so far/this time) thank God. but we have one snotty, coughy, fevery little boy.

he and i both have had sinus crud for a week. mine got better and so i assumed his was, too, but then this weekend it just got worse...so back to the MD yesterday,  and now on our (bloody) 3rd cycle of antibiotics this winter/spring.

it seriously feels like the poor guy has been one week on one week off sick/healthy since october. grrr.

and the symptoms are all worse in tiny people. where i can identify and treat my sore throat, he just drools and whines. when i have phlegm in the back of my throat, i can clear it out. he just sort of drowns in it. i am coordinated enough to eat and breathe at the same time when my nose is plugged up. he...isn't.

so it's been rough. he didn't sleep at all last night. we kept him home today, w/ robb and i both taking half a day off. it was some nice jammie cuddle time. and he hasn't had a fever all day and has tons of energy, is eating ok, etc, etc. so hopefully he's on the mend.

it was hard for me to be at work this morning, even for a few hrs, knowing that he was here and feeling (allegedly. now i think he's faking it) rotten. i just want to fix it for him.

i'm thanking God he's got these small, treatable little ailments and is otherwise a healthy, happy, busy little guy. he's a war hero and will surely get through this bout like he has all the others, quickly and continuing to laugh, even though it'll just devolve into a coughing fit.

             
feeling pretty bad at the pediatrician's office.                   an hour later, feeling swell. :)

And Parents Are Like Giant Confused Pig Wrestling Masochistic Magicians

watching a parent of a toddler/mobile infant is funny, too. 

we are twitchy barriers to them flinging themselves off and toward things, so we are also constantly moving, just on the defense instead of offense. without spilling the (probably cold by now) cup of coffee we're holding, we can one-handedly take a snot-covered contorted angry pig-beast from the edge of the couch and gently deposit him safely on the floor. we also *magically* make the sharp thing they want to play with disappear while placing a safe thing in their little paws using some very advanced slight of hand stuff and techniques in distraction. 

and we probably come off as extremely confused and maybe a little dumb since we're always asking them questions we really should know the answer to...."what's this, henry?" (it's my nose, moron. geez! aren't you in medicine?). "are we going to see grandpa and grandma now, henry?" (well, apparently, or you wouldn't have bothered to bring it up, now would you?) "are you such a big boy?" (seriously, folks, you're giving me a complex).

and we really do just have to laugh. and acknowledge that they've made us a bit masochistic. because these tiny tweakers are beating us about the face and neck while smashing a handful of avocadosweetpotatobananablackbeans into our hair and screaming bloody murder all the while...and, frankly, we can't get enough of any of it.

My Tiny Tweaker

i've decided that baby humans are a lot like adult humans on PCP or meth.

all day long he throws himself off/into sharp/hard things, grins maniacally, makes crazy noises and speaks in nonsense languages, displaying no inhibitions. he'll be crying and throwing food one minute and ravenously hungry the next. he craps his pants. he beats himself up and people around him...and then, out of nowhere, he crashes. falling into a deep sleep, often still in his clothes and in the strangest places.

yep, that pretty much covers monkeybusiness now that he's crawling and getting into everything. we have to watch him every second or he'll for SURE have brought a table down on his head or put the dog in his mouth.

and he leaves a path of destruction everywhere he goes.

it's wonderful. i love the stage. he's hilarious.

perhaps i'm an enabler? i still want to pad my whole house.

and, as one of my friend's suggested, perhaps henry would benefit from an intervention? :)

Ten Can Do Any...then'! Happy Easter!

ten months old and doing great!

so big, so busy. crawling everywhere. pulling himself up on things and occasionally letting go and just hanging there in space for a moment. he's got really good balance and he's using every muscle in his body all the time. he's like a tiny joseph pilates. if i followed him around all day and did what he does, sustaining hovering poses, righting himself using only abdominal muscles, etc, i would have abs of steel. i wouldn't exactly say he has abs of steel- but he's getting lithe and tight for sure.



he's also communicating with head shaking (not sure he knows what it means, but he is very enthusiastic about it) and the earliest hints of some of the signs we've been trying to teach him. he claps, he sticks his tongue out, he points and indicates when he's done (sometimes by articulating his distaste for something by fake gagging and spitting and carrying on). :)

he's more sweet and fun and happy every day. 9 months was amazing, let's see what 10 brings!

The After

robb was recently published in an online magazine called "the good men project." it's really cool and i'm really proud. a close friend submitted a post he had written on this blog when we had our first positive ultrasound in the pregnancy that turned out to be henrymonkeybuttenstein. he reflects on the 2 losses and the fertility struggles we had prior to that and how he ached watching me ache. it's beautifully written and you should really check it out.

re-reading his post and others around that time has gotten me remembering. i remember having a vision of a future with a healthy child. a tangible hope that i'd have full arms one day. but although there was a light in the future, i also remember how terrifying and uncertain, long and dark the days were in that present. i remember thinking that if there was a worthwhile after, i couldn't get to it soon enough. each day and month dragged on so long in the before and during, i just wasn't sure if i'd survive to see the after.

a vivid memory is a new year's eve 2 years ago when i had been sure that i was pregnant that month....and then i started to bleed at the party where we had been, up to that point, celebrating the hope of a new year. the hostess, a good friend, tried to comfort me with a moment at the cribside of her sleeping baby, telling me it was so worth it to keep fighting and that she was SURE i would someday be cribside of my own little monster.

at that time, i didn't know she was right. and it hurt so much. the possibility that it might not happen, the longing for it to come true.

so that was the before.

i am just thanking God all the time for the after. my henry is moving in on his 1st birthday. each day of these 10 months has been more precious than anything i'd imagined. his health, his spirit, his delightful personality, that smile that seems to come from his toes and must take a lot of work to hoist up those mighty cheeks...i just can't express my gratitude to God for making him whole and ours and here.

if myself now could have had a conversation with myself then, on that awful new year's eve, i would have told myself to keep fighting. i would have said exactly what my friend did, even if it hurt me. this brand of happy is like nothing i've ever experienced. my heart is so complete and full...i didn't know then what i could handle or what i would be willing to go through to meet my kid. but now that i know him, and i stand by his crib watching him sleep, i'll tell you it was all absolutely worth it.

and although he happened to arrive to us through pregnancy and delivery, there are other ways to add a little pile of blessings to your home. it doesn't matter how they get here, the struggle, the process, whatever it takes to meet your kid will be so worthwhile.

so friends out there, who are hurting and contemplating how far you can manage in this fight to meet your own little bliss, i promise, the after is absolutely worth it.