Dogs and Humans Living Together...Mass Hysteria!

i think i've made mention before about how i struggle to like my dog now that we have kid. she's a geriatric greyhound whom we've had for 7 years. and honestly, she's awesome. but i kind of want to accidentally on purpose leave her on a nice farm somewhere.

she really is a really good dog. super laid-back and wanting to please. she stays mostly out of the way and doesn't bark or whine much or get into too TOO much trouble. but she just...is. she's one more critter requiring attention and service and sometimes (most of the time) i find myself seeing her as a duty more than a pleasure.

and then sometimes i feel like a real dick for feeling that way.

like tonight, when henry was lying on the changing table while i put on his jammies and we heard mia clickity-clacking her way toward us and he said, unprompted, "her my best friend."

oh, maaaaaan! ok, you're right! she's the best most wonderfulest and i should be more diligent about brushing her teeth and should take her for more full-assed walks and we ought to CUT those claws so they're not clickity-clacking all over the house like that and i'll TOTALLY get you two matching friendship bracelets to wear and...

an hour later we found her with one of his poopy diapers across the house from where it started.

she can brush her own teeth. 

Dancing Babies and Psychotic Breaks

temper. tantrums.

this morning we dared to make henry a breakfast sammich and cut it in half (OH THE HUMANITYYYY) and so he threw himself about his room for the next 20 minutes telling us to go away and writhing out of all his clothes so that he was just an angry red diaper-clad dancing baby. he eventually monstered his way out of the diaper, too. 

so much angry nudity.

although it's annoying and makes us late for work and such, i have trouble getting too frustrated with him.

he's learning SO much, i mean EVERYTHING right now. his letters , numbers, colors, shapes, manners, words, physical coordination, how to handle relationships, what to expect out of the universe and where he falls within it....i mean, all of it. he started with pretty much nil, and not all that long ago. and of all the ways you have to become a person, all the tackle in your "self" tool box, i think emotional awareness and control is probably the hardest thing.

i know folks rounding into 40 years old who can barely understand and then master their emotions and don't just fall apart when they don't get their way.....so i give henry some leeway at 2.

now, it's possible that those 40 y/o's are only out of control adults because their parents never trained them properly when they WERE 2 y/o's and then i might be regretting this tactic completely when he's a 6' tall angry naked dancing man.

but so far, i'm encouraging him to use his words, take deep breaths, find his calm, and use other methods to express his maniacal hatred for non-intact sandwiches.

here's where i admit that i've read nary a toddler-training parenting book and ask if any of you out there have any advice on how to get him through this growing period. 

please and thank you.

How Do You Like 'Dem Apples?

a request came in from korea today for pics of my belly.

so here you go, in all its glory. you may have noticed my other mounds just north of the big show. if you did, you're not alone. everyone else is noticing lately, too.

the other day in the locker room at work a nurse i hardly know said "whoa. your boobs. i mean, whoa." i laughingly told her about my misadventures of trying to adjust to (a droopier version of) jessica rabbit's life and she just kept shaking her head, looking appalled/amused.

then tonight, henry did a ninja move and pulled out my shirt and reached into my cleavage crack (i mean, this is a risky maneuver- kid could asphyxiate in there) and said "what in der?" i shoo'd him away and asked him, "what do you think is in there?" and he answered "apples!"

oy. once again, so SO much therapy.

for both of us, this time.

things are going well, though. i'm feeling more movement from the deuce every day, which is just as fun as i remember it.

and i feel pretty good. totally emotionally basket-casey, but i'm holding it together enough to be a functional adult. so far. mostly.

henry's had a grand few weeks. we went to a Renaissance fair where he saw a sword fight and got his own sword..and is now swording everything around him, always. he's 'armed' all the time at home when not in the bath or bed. we WERE a nonviolent people, not samuch now.

he went to an apple orchard with his aunt and her fella and rode another pony ("what did you ride, henry?"......"a camel") and pet a goat ("what did you pet, henry?"...."an eagle.".....sometimes i think he's f'ing with us on purpose). and got a cute pumpkin and drank 3 gallons of cider. and he's gone to a pro baseball game and hung out with family and, we've been really a great time and loving the fall.

and he's taken a few weeks of swimming lessons where he's alone w/ the teacher and a classmate and we're not in there with him. he's being a rockstar. well, except the time when he didn't have his little cohort in there with him and it was just him and the teacher- then he screamed for an agonizing 13 minutes before we gave up the ghost and went and saved him. but when the other little boy is there (leighton. my hero. the wind beneath our wings), he does just great. huge grin the whole time.

The Deuce

i had the anatomic ultrasound for the baby a few weeks ago and had to go back today to finish it because there were a few important structures the tech couldn't visualize properly. i'm 21 weeks now. thanks to God, everything looks healthy and normal and perfect. this time henry and robb didn't come with me, so henry wasn't there to say the baby looks like an iguana and robb wasn't there to stop me from finding out the sex.

sigh...but i stopped myself. 

i just like surprises too durn much. and we have 4 heart chambers and a closed spine and 2 complete hemispheres of the brain and all the right amounts of all the good stuff, so i'm happy. whether there is a P or a V down under doesn't really matter.

i'm getting really excited. i'm a lot calmer this time around and just sort of expecting the best, i guess.

it most definitely helps that i have a henry to keep me busy and to fret over in real time so that the interminably slow pregnancy season doesn't seem to be taking quite as long as last time. (but, srsly, it's almost a year!! i mean, a YEAR!!).

and, as much as i longed for henry to become a henry, i was so wired when it finally happened that it took me a while into his wee life to chillax (robb loves this word) enough to really start to enjoy him. i feel like this one might have a leg up, because i'm calmer now and also because i know what a pile of joy a pregnancy can turn up.

henry might compete with his sibling later in life, but right now he's doing the kid a huge favor by being so sweet and wonderful and making me anticipate more of the same. (don't you make me eat those words, baby. don't be a booger now).

and as nervous as i am sometimes at the idea of managing life with two, i love being henry's parent so much that i'm excited to do it some more.

he's taught me what it feels like to be totally content. like the circuit of my heart is complete when i'm holding him. now double that? holy moly. will have to grow more heart.

My Want an Oompa Loompa NOW, Daddy.

life with henry right now is a really funny and (mostly) fun roller coaster. i've taken to calling him mr. jekyll and mr. hyde, because he can go from happy and friendly to ferocious and out of control in a split second (he hasn't had time yet to get his MD or PhD, so i can't, in good conscious, call him doctor).

his language skills are booming. we hear him sample sentences and proper word order and conjugations...."my want apple" is becoming "i want a big apple." both are often followed by fits of rage if we get the apple wrong somehow or aren't fast enough with it or whatever, but at least the grammar of tiny dictator's demands is improving. it's making me more aware of my own grammar and i'm attempting to be less sloppy with my language around him, because he practices saying everything we say to him.

he sort of knows that i'm pregnant. kind of. he saw the ultrasound (argh! meant to post those pics ages ago. i'll get to it, i swear. already baby #2 isn't getting proper photographic documentation of his/her life). when you ask him what's in my belly, often he'll say "baby." but then if you ask him what's in HIS stomach, he'll also say "baby" (feat of science right there).  we have friends with a 7 m/o son, isaac, whom henry adores (see me working on my grammar there? eh? eh?) and calls 'baby isaac.' so when henry discusses the baby in my stomach, it's always 'baby isaac.' he will be disappointed when out comes a tiny squirmy worm instead of the super fun baby isaac. i guess he'll have to adjust.

he's a pleasant combo of independent and confident and still cuddly and affectionate and needy. it's getting a wee bit challenging to pick him up every time he demands, because i'm roughly the size of a sedan and he's growing a lot lately (tall, big, all of it), and he especially wants to be carried when i'm also carrying groceries. or he especially wants my attention when i'm indisposed. see below.

this is about what it's always like when i'm in the bathroom. you can hear robb trying to help in the background. and after i tell henry to give me a minute, he gets quiet.

but i can hear him breathing out there.

We, uh......We Really Like Mary Poppins

I Found Henry's Journal

mother, father....we need to talk.

lately i've been finding you very frustrating. the only word you seem to know is "no." all i want is to have a little fun, and you are the killers of all my fun.

is it too much to ask that i be able to use my paper towel tube sword to lance everything in sight without you interfering? i swear i was only going to do it another 70 or 80 times and only planned to break a lot of the glass in my way.

i mean, relax. really. 

and while we're on the subject, when i wake up and the first thing i want to do before my eyes are even open is watch "pingu" on your phone, just do us both a solid and pull your phone out, push the buttons and bring out that zany little penguin. just do it.

do it.

and you keep acting like stopping playing to eat dinner is a good idea and something i should be happily doing. well, i'm not happy about it at all. i have to leave my football where i found it and clean up all the puzzle pieces that i am PRETTY sure i didn't even put there, and then eat beans and rice. and you sit there, stupidly acting like that is a treat or something? bitches, please. if you just gave me the pear that i asked you for, we wouldn't be having this scene right now. i asked you for the pear 20 times. 20 times! i could not have been more clear.  i enunciated and everything. i said AND SIGNED the word please. i really don't know what the problem is. we're out of pears? what does that even mean? will an apple do? really? REALLY? if i offered you apple juice instead of mommy juice to drink, would that work for you? i thought not.

and now i have to show you how serious i am about this pear thing by throwing myself on the floor and sobbing. why must it always come to this? this is on you, mommy. this is on you.

so, in conclusion.....pingu and pears and we'll all get along.

here's some kisses to keep you coming back for more, 

henry j. monster

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

we've had some rather difficult moments recently with henry rebelling and fighting us and whining and big fake crying.  thankfully, because he is a wonderful, happy little sprite despite the two's that he's in, he still has a lot more great moments than rough ones and recovers well. and we're slowly learning to feel each other out and learning how to get through them mostly unscathed.
but it can get irksome, him trying our patience all the time.

last night when i was tip-toeing out of his bedroom after he fell asleep, i noticed how huge he is. he takes up nearly the whole mattress (crib mattress, on the floor at this point). he's a kid > baby now. and he has to learn how to be independent and make his own decisions and there's going to be some growing pains while he figures that out.

and i like that he's his own henry and not just a little barnacle on us anymore. it's more fun than frustrating most of the time.

we're all a work in progress, i guess.