22 Months Old!

should i take it as a sign that henry is ready to potty train that instead of finding him throwing toys into his dirty diaper bin today (like usual), i caught him trying to put a book in the toilet?

it also might have been a commentary on the book. it was not great.

i yelled to stop him before text met toilet water and scared him into a deep frown and some tears.

but tears these days are not to be trusted anyway. recently he started saying 'henry sad. 'henry crying' and the proceeds to histrionically fake cry. so either he's just really in touch with his emotions already, or he's figuring out that tears mean action on our part.

clever boy.

he's also jabbering up a storm. it turns out that walrus is his favorite animal and brown is his favorite color. he told me he wanted to "hold the D" this morning, and to my relief, he was pointing to a letter 'D' magnet on the fridge.

it's exciting how he strings words together. we can literally watch 'click' after 'click' as he figures things out.

we're looking at a busy few weeks! this week i leave my current job and then we go up north for a little getaway before the whole big family gathers to celebrate an impending cousin getting married to  a super cool guy! (as a cousin, you don't get a vote on who they marry, so we count ourselves extremely lucky that she picked a great one).  then we both start our new jobs and work, exhaustingly, for an entire week(!) before we go to DISNEY WORLD!!!!

so it'll be a big, great month, i foresee.

 he dragged this thing across the house today. was very proud. 

he's very good at being silly. it's kind of his wheelhouse.

this came from his great-grandpa, 'big hank' who visited cape canaveral last year.

A Good Life Lived

a friend of mine lost her husband this week. and we're not in the stage of life where that is supposed to happen.

it kind of feels like the bottom dropped out when someone young like this passes away. 

it sounds cruel, but there is less trauma to those of us left behind grieving when the dying is someone older. someone who has moved through many decades and has eaten through the meat of life. we're able to comfortably say, 'he lived a good, long life' and feel like the deceased isn't missing out on too much and the world isn't missing out on too much of him.

that is decidedly untrue in this situation.

this is someone in his mid-30's with a young wife and toddler son. someone who normally would have had a long career ahead of him, many chances to influence the world, to have ups and downs with family and friends, possibly to have more kids. to keep on living for a long time.

but he didn't.

he did, however, really LIVE in those years he had. maybe especially in the 2 1/2 years since he was diagnosed with advanced stage rectal cancer, he lived well. with humor and joy, even.  they as a family lived loudly and boldly and gracefully. i will be forever inspired and amazed at the way they thrived and grew and continued to reach out into the world when it would have been so easy to fold into the pain and fear.

and, let's be honest, it's probably a generous platitude when we say of of all old people that they 'lived a good, long life.'

because i'm sure you know people, as i do, who hardly seem to live at all. who treat life as a burden they have to get through. everything a hassle or an obstacle that weighs them down. no matter how many years of it they get.

and whether a life is 'good' is subjective, i'm sure. but universally i think we can agree that someone is doing a good job of this living thing if they are taking care of themselves, being kind and generous to others, maybe even taking care of some others... helping to grant joy? freedoms? truths? comfort? resources? contributing to the world ideas or peace or love or examples of God?

this man, this family did a lot of good for a lot of people. instead of quietly suffering through this horrible disease and its treatments on their own, they gave friends, family, and strangers the gift of their insights, their incredible faith, and their hope. and, in the end, they demonstrated a beautiful ability to let go. to see death not as a failure or a darkness too soon, but as a new door opening with light behind it, a healing, a release into God's arms.

so even though his life was too short. and i'm certain this family would give a lot to have had more time with him, they can honor him by celebrating the GOOD LIFE that he LIVED while he was here. because he seemed to do a bang up job of it.

if you are interested in donating to this beautiful family or to the causes they hold close to them, please go to: http://errickspringfielddonations.webs.com/
 

Do As I Say, Not As I Say

henry has started picking stuff up from his little friends. other than just nasty germs, which he's always done well.

recently he started saying "go away, mommy!" and "go away, daddy!" (more often the latter, i feel compelled to point out. #winning).  we reprimand him when he does that and encourage nice words, nice hands, show love, etc, etc.

but then last night at dinner i find myself yelling at the dog "GO AWAY, MIA!" and this tiny voice in the high chair echoes me...

and....yea. so, do as i say...?

yipes. being a roll model is just so much durn work. i think i'm doing a bang-up job, eating my vegetables in front of him, praying before meals, reading books, just humming the number of syllables i wish i could be swearing out loud when intensely discussing something instead of actually saying the words...but i still have room to improve.

also, we're trying to avoid 'intensely discussing somethings' in front of h monkey. we're going through some big changes in our life right now- exciting changes, but stressful nonetheless, and robb and i have been grouching at each other here and there.

but we don't want henry mimicking mean words or getting freaked out by our tone. as robb astutely pointed out, henry doesn't necessarily understand the topic of our 'discussion' but he certainly senses the tone and intention. and, worst case scenario, he takes it to mean we're mad at him or that robb and i don't like each other or something. not good. he may be too little to fully understand that people can disagree on something but still respect and adore each other.

maybe this will prove to be a new useful function of texting? when i want to say something terrible and snarky to robb, i refrain from doing it out loud and instead text it to his phone so henry never has to be the wiser?

or, fine. i'll just stop saying the snarky thing in the first place! geez grumble grumble he started it never washes the bathtub grumble grumble groan.

a very smart friend posted on facebook the other day a great reminder. before we communicate anything to anyone (text/type/speak/morse code) we should run it through this test: is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?

man, that would save a lot of 'discussions' in marriage if we refrained from anything outside of those parameters, wouldn't it?

it's good to have goals.

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